Saying Goodbye

Kona

I know it has been quite awhile since I have posted. No excuses really, other than it seems this grieving process is a bit like strikes of lightening. Some days I miss Kona so much that my longing to have her curl up next to me on the couch or stare at me with such love, it's almost unbearable. Other days I am realistic, and grateful for our time together and able to speak of her without tears.

I just read the book Going Home- Finding Peace When Pets Die by Jon Katz. He is a New York Times bestselling author who shares some of his personal experiences regarding the close relationships that humans have with their dogs, and that dogs have with their humans. I would like to share an excerpt from the book with his thoughts on what he imagines the parting words from our beloved dogs would be...





"Dear Friend,

It is my time to say goodbye. My legs are weakening, my sight failing, smells are faint. I am weary-ing. My spirit is fading, and I have been called home and away from you.

I wish to be strong again, to roll in gross stuff, to snatch greasy bones, to eat all of the things you hated me to eat, to have my belly scratched for all time, to run through the fields and the woods, to smell the stories of life, and to raise my nose to the wind and see the world all over again.

I am going home. I know I leave you in loneliness and pain. That is the way of people when they say goodbye. Dogs are different. We don't have regrets or wish that we could alter the story of life.

Although I have been called away, I leave you with the memories of our life together.

I remember a cold winter's night when you sang to me in the dark as the wind howled and snow drifted outside the window. I felt your loneliness and knew my work.

When you looked at me and the corners of your mouth turned up, you smelled and looked different. Lighter, happier. That was my life, my work. Nothing more clearly defined my purpose. When you smiled I knew why I was here.

I never tired of watching you, of being with you while you lived your life. I sat by your side, entering into the spirit of the moment. I supported your life, wherever it went, whatever you felt, whatever you did. I was your witness, your testament.

I remember walking in the snow. And running alongside you. And chasing after balls, Frisbees, sticks. And warm fires on cold nights. And sitting by you when you read books or watched baseball games.

I remember my heart jumping out of my chest when you came home and called my name, or grabbed a ball, or took me outside, or fed me. I hope you know that I loved all of those things-whatever you chose to bring me and give me, whatever time you spent with me, I loved.

And I thank you.

I always knew where you were, even when you forgot me or couldn't see me. You had no secrets from me. You showed me everything. We trusted each other.

Unlike people, I would never hurt you. I could never hurt you. It is not an instinct I possess.

I smelled and felt all of the worries in a human life, but I am different. Like other animals, I want only what I need. Your life is too complex for me to grasp. There are so many things in it that are meaningless to me.

I am so much simpler than you.

I love you and I love all the people and animals in our home. And I love food, and smelly things in the woods and balls and Frisbees and bones. There is not much more to me than that, and yet you loved me for it, and despite it.

By now, you must know that there is always a goodbye hovering in the shadow of a dog. We are never here for long, or for long enough. We were never meant to share all of your life, only to mark its passages. We come and we go. We come when we are needed. We leave when it is time. Death is necessary. It defines life.

I will see you again.

I will watch over you.

I hope, in your grief and loneliness, that you will consider how sad it would of been had we not had this time together, not had the chance to give each other so much.

I do not mourn or grieve, but I will miss standing beside you, bound together on our walk through life, even as I know that there is a long line of others waiting to take my place and stand with you.

Thank you. It was nothing but a gift.

And finally, I ask these things of you:

Remember me.

Celebrate me.

Grieve for me.

And then, when you can, let me go, freely and in peace.

When you are ready, do me the great honor of bringing another dog into your life, so you can give and receive this gift again."

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A Universal Language

Kona, resting on "her" couch

Procrastination.

It happens.

Sometimes one might have a very good reason for it, however for the most part life deals us the cards that need to be played and using them as a reason to not accomplish and do what we need to do is...

Procrastination.

I have been working on my "animal communication" or as it is also referred to as intuitive communication. It is a difficult subject to learn (and many may think un-learnable) and to be sure I may be wondering that myself. For the past month or so, my time and energy has been focused on nursing along my furry best friend Kona, instead of doing daily lessons and blogging about them. My practice sessions have involved just hands on care of my sick dog. One of the reasons I became interested in intuitive communication is for this very reason. We may think we KNOW our animal family is not well, but the extent of how bad they feel is difficult to judge. Kona exists to be a joy to us. She tries very hard to show us that she is still a vital part of our family circle, celebrating our relationship with each other unconditionally no matter how she is feeling.

Except now.

She has cancer, and is rapidly deteriorating healthwise. She is still eating and able to go potty outside, but that could change any day. I look at her beautiful brown eyes and want so badly to know what I should do to help her at the end of her journey with us. If your furry family passes on their own, losing them is still a heartwretching deal to go through, however you have not had to "play god" and make the decision. My intuitive communication is not helping me one bit at this time. I have tried to "communicate" with her on the psychic level, but it just seems that I hear what I want to hear and nothing else.

It's very frustrating.

So, until I am able to advance with my knowledge in the subject of intuitive communcication, I will continue with using my own intuition to help her through this difficult transition in our lives.

After all, isn't the universal language of all...Love?

 

 

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Kona

Kona

Kona is our dog.

And she has "issues". I guess you can label them PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) however, whatever label they have her "issues" have challenged us (and her).

We adopted/rescued Kona from one of those shelters where you wish you could adopt and love up ALL of the residents. At the time of her adoption we had no idea that she suffered from PTSD. A red flag should of popped up when we were told that she had been picked up as a stray and therefore there were no records of her. Or that she had been at the shelter long enough to have used up her time there. The shelter determined her age to be around five when she was brought in. Old enough to have had plenty of "life" beaten into her.

That was almost six years ago. Since that time, there have been many, MANY books read, "calming" practices implemented and plenty of additional nervousness (from Kona and US) in regards to what we can do about her fearful doggy behavior.

She is a "nipper" and a growler and a ferocious barker which works quite well as a means to keep people and other dogs at paws length. One might think that a fearful dog would not act aggressively, but perhaps more timidly. If you think about it, it works well enough to keep scary people and other dogs away. It also is a sure fired way to have your "nipper" taken from your home! Three excellent resources we used were: Help For Your Fearful Dog/A Step-by-Step Guide to Helping Your Dog Conquer His Fears by Nicole Wilde, CPDT; The Cautious Canine/How to Help Dogs Conquer Their Fears by Patricia B. McConnell, Ph.D.; Getting in TTouch With Your Dog/A Gentle Approach to Influencing Behavior,Health, and Performance by Linda Tellington-Jones.

The reason I am even writing about Kona is that her age is catching up with her (I hope that is all it is at this point) and her hips just did not want to navigate the five flights of stairs to go outside today. I have a tough go at it some of the days as well! We avoid the elevator in this building as it puts us in a situation that could quickly turn unpleasant if another dog and their person gets in. After all these years the intensity of her "issues" has decreased, but we never could erase all of the abuse and damage that happened before she joined our family. It breaks my heart to see her shuffle onto the elevator with just mild apprehension instead of her usual uber-alertness.

My past couple of intuitive comunication meditations have been unsuccesful in trying to "chat" with Kona to help us figure out what is going on with her physically. My worry about her has made me tired so I fall asleep almost immediately! :( From what I understand it is difficult to communicate with your own furry family anyway, as we tend to always be guessing and mind-assuming things about them. As much as it stresses her out, it's to the vet tomorrow if she has not improved!

 

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Hello Hawk

My desire to learn to communicate intuitvely with animals may seem like a strange way to use my time and efforts to some. I was trying to remember when I actually said hello to that dream and began my investigation into the topic. My childhood was a chaotic, jumbled up, emotional goulash of feelings and events and one constant calming force that helped me to cope with it all was my love of animals and spending time with them in their natural environment. I remember placing snails on the palm tree trunk (you know the little part that sort of peels away?) telling them that I had moved them from the sidewalk (where they most likely would be squished or have salt poured on them by my brothers) to their very own "high-rise apt". As I got a bit older I was still rescuing birds or rabbits that had been injured near our desert home in Tucson. It was not unusual for me to be late (oh well!) to my first class of the day in high school if I happened upon an injured critter in the road. Hearing a quail crying because their mate did not make it crossing the street is something one never forgets. I think I have always felt that animals (domesticated and not) were so much smarter and kinder to each other, or at least they seemed so, than humans were to other humans.

http://youtu.be/T1m9wVNmdd0

So I guess the answer as to when the animal communication became something to delve into, would have to be that it has been a intrinsic part of who I am since I can remember. I'm still not sure how far and competent I will be able to go with communicating, but at least I am going to give it a hearty effort!

Today I used the Journey to the Heart guided meditation for my lesson. What I like about this particular meditation is that Lauren invites whatever animal that is wanting to speak to me come into my heart space (more often than not it is Mylee). Today I was visited by a hawk. It looked like a Coopers Hawk, but that could be because that is the type of hawk that I most frequently encounter in this area. Not much happened during the meditation. Just some intense hawk eyes looking at me. :) That IS what Hawks do so well isn't it? Maybe next time I'll figure out why.

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Guided Meditations Are Awesome!

Peaceful Place

Guided Meditations rock! It is so nice to turn my busy brain over to listening to a CD that talks me through the process. Lauren McCall (of IntegratedAnimal) offers a guided meditation CD called Journey to the Heart as an aid to Animal Communication. Softly spoken instructions, peaceful water and quiet instrumentals, all contribute to make the journey to total relaxation easy, or at least easier. Intuitive communication requires creating a receptively quiet heart space. So today I remembered that I had the CD and since I have been having a spot of trouble with the needing to quiet my brain to be able to focus business, I decided it was high time to listen to it.

I settled in on the couch and here is what transpired for the next half hour or so: "Okay, I am laying down. The CD seems a bit too loud, should I get back up to adjust the volume? That's better, back to laying down. What should I do with my hands? My feet are touching the end of the couch. What is Zoey (the cat) doing perched above my head? I wonder if she has poop under her tail? Why did I not close the window? I can hear THINGS going on outside. Maybe I should move to the bed. Guess I will restart the CD, yes this is better, breathe breathe, why did I not use my eye mask? The sun too bright. Oh well, get up, pause the CD and grap the eye mask. The lavender smells so nice. No Kona you can not jump on the bed. Quiet place here I come! Damn the phone, why didn't I silence it? Maybe I should answer the call. I will restart the CD see how it goes..."

No WONDER I could not even begin to relax enough to find my peaceful heart space!

I was finally able to allow the guided meditation to do what it's intention was to do. If I ever record one, I would start it off by seriously reminding the participant to figure out what they need to do BEFORE starting the meditation because they were not to get up until I said when!

Alternate Peaceful Place

Journey to the Heart asks the participant to picture themselves in a place that brings creates an atmoshere of quiet, reflective feelings of peace (your heart space). I have two such places that I like to visit. One is inside a cathedral, with Gregorian chants softly echoing and the earthy smell of incense and old limestone to calm my senses. The other space is a grassy beach with the salty smell of ocean air and a warm breeze to caress my face.

Once I am able to visit either space I find myself so relaxed that I have to remind myself why I went there in the first place! That is when listening to the guided meditation comes in handy, or I possibly would forget whom I was trying to "ring up".

If learning to communicate with animals is not on your agenda, then, at the very least allow yourself to use a guided meditation to get to a place of relaxation bliss. It alone is well worth the journey!

http://youtu.be/xoYnqvadurg

Curious if guided meditation works? Try it! You deserve ten minutes of calm!

 

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Mylee!!!

So, it is with great trepidation that I am begin the documentation of my journey of intuitive communication with animals. As mentioned before I am combining the teaching expertise of several fantastic communicators to help me discover my own way of making a connection. For the most part I am using Carol Gurney's 7-Step Hearttalk Program. Her program invites me to:

Find a peaceful place for myself and the animal. (heart space)

Ask the animal I would like to communicate with to join me there.

Speak and listen heart to heart.

And then wonder if I am really "connecting" with the animal or not (this last one is totally my own addition to the process!!)

Mylee & TYRONE

So I am settling down and attempting to reach TYRONE, a dear sweet fawn pug that had recently left us (I was his gran/nana) My eyes are closed and I am getting a good picture of him in my mind and in my heart, when who should pop into my heart space but Mylee, Tyrone's earthly black pug adopted sister. She has done this in other instances when I was trying to reach TYRONE as well. She did it while he was alive (interrupted interactions with him), and now continues to do so even though he is gone.

She just looks at me with her head tilted in that pug-like way that they do. That usually ends my attempt to have a conversation with Tyrone, and perhaps when my skills improve and with it my ability to concentrate I will listen to her to hear what she has to say. In the meantime I have to smile at her tenacity to join me whenever I go to my heart-space (the equivalent of pressing the button to make a call to someone on your phone) I might have to get used to the idea that she just wants to be a part of this journey with me.

Guess I will find out soon enough.

 

 

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Learning Lizard Language

Rango!

Looking at the date on the first post in this (used to be brand spanking new) blog, almost A MONTH has zoomed by without any documentation on my journey into the realm of Intuitive Communication. That needs to change today. I have been studying and also experimenting a bit, however it is difficult for me to trust whether the conversations I have had were with the animal or with myself! Be that as it may, I will carry on and begin a written account of how I am progressing in this whole process.

I have attended four workshops on this topic. Three have been presented by Lauren McCall www.IntegratedAnimal.com . Her expertise on the topic and how she shares it with students is what has inspired me to continue on this unique path. I also attended a two hour presentation by Morgine Jurdan www.CommunicationsWithLove.com. Currently I am doing the self/study route using Learning Their Language/Intuitive Communication with Animals and Nature by Marta Williams and The Language of Animals/7 Steps to Communicating with Animals by Carol Gurney. Both books have given me plenty of suggestions to keep me busy!

So here I am learning and blogging and talking and all that, but I am not quite sure, yet, how to answer the question that is often asked: "What have you been up to lately? :) Since I am such a newbie to Intuituive Communication, and even if I wasn't, you have to admit it isn't your run of the mill topic. me: "Oh I had the COOLEST conversation with a crow that was on the powerline outside my apartment window, he was sharing how much he loved humans who were careless with disposing of their food..." (see what I mean?)

Oh well, I am glad that fitting into any special type of mold of proper behavior has never been an issue with me. So onward with the lessons and let's see how I progress!

 

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